Special Guest

I know I have been (unintentionally) been keeping you in suspense on the outcome of the corn picking (are you on the edge of your seats?) but you will have to wait a little longer.

Life got busy all of a sudden this week and I probably wont be blogging for the next 10 days.

Why you ask?

Only because my bestest friends in the whole world are coming to visit!

I am sure I will have lots of adventures (and even more misadventures) to blog about after they leave.

So I am going to leave you with a treat.

A post from a special guest writer.

He's a business owner, ex-motorcycle racer, mixologist, gun toter, sappy movie cryer, Rotary president, and a gosh darn real nice guy.

His writing reflects most his somewhat (ok maybe more than somewhat) OCD nature and a Far Side like humor.

Oh, and did I mention, he's my dad.

I have been telling him for a while that he should get a blog because he sends me these emails that are just so much the style of a blogger and always really funny.

Today, I got a particularly good one.

So I decided I would exploit his talent for my own gain.

Here goes, without further ado...


I saw a bumper sticker a few days ago that read ‘One by one the penguins steal my sanity” and wondered what it might mean, if anything…I thought maybe song lyrics, a poem? These sorts of things eat at me until I can find some resolution, I MUST KNOW! So…

The following is from the urban dictionary site and seemed to be a logical answer:

‘The penguins referred to in this statement are also those people known as "conformists". Whether the statement is made by someone in an office or at school, it is often stated by a non-conformist. Penguins, who all look alike, act alike, and huddle together, all seem the same. So the statement "Then penguins steal my sanity" refers to the slow decay of one's mind when dealing with the humdrum coexistence with Conformists and robot types.’

There was an episode of How I Met Your Mother, which we really don’t watch, but happened to see the 5 minutes of it that in one of the characters office walls there are lame and/or satirical motivational posters and one is a bunch of penguins and the message is “CONFORMITY – It’s the one who is different that gets left out in the cold” I got the impression one character was struggling with his differences with his new office buddies and he didn’t fit in.

That’s it, now I know, I’m good…no self examination needed, no therapy, no life changing epiphanies, I get it and I know I’m definitely penguinish and that’s OK cause that’s how I roll…(that ‘how I roll’ thing just sounds wrong from me even written satirically)

So…Be the best you you can be today, embrace your individualism and your connection to the Creche, Parcel,Waddle, Raft & Rookery!

Note: Penguins…A group of babies is a crèche, a waddle is a group on land, a nesting group is a Rookery, a group on the water is a raft, and in general a group is a parcel, a group of penguins in a bar is known as Morty.

- Crashin' Coon Dog Cooney

(He'll have to come up with his own signature but I'll use this nickname for now)

(Someday I'll have him tell you about how he got that nickname, lets just say it included, a motorcycle, guns, beer, and a boat)

Corn Picking: Part 1

A year ago, we were driving down the road and saw a sign for a pumpkin patch and decided to pull in.

We discovered when we got there that you can get a painters bucket and fill it with corn that you pick for $10.

We thought that sounded like fun so we got the bucket and picked corn till it was overflowing.

When we got home we husked them and stuck them in the fridge and grilled a couple for dinner.

We didn’t know how to preserve corn and we didn't get around to looking into it until it was too late and we had ruined over a dozen ears of corn.

It was tragic.

So we were determined that this year we would be better prepared.

We showed up at the pumpkin patch at 8:30am the first day it was open to the public.

We discovered when we got there that they had onion picking this year as well.

So we decided to start with that and got 2 buckets for $14.

They said there were red and yellow onions.

The first patch we came across was the red onions so we started picking some of them.







Then we started looking for the yellow onions and couldn’t find them for a while but finally came across them after some wandering.

There were only little golf ball sized onions and they were a bit scarce but I knew I would use more yellow than red onions so we had to work quite a while to pick enough to fill our buckets.

So we took the buckets back to the stand and they bagged our onions and the guy said “Oh, you got some boilers (referring to the small onions)”



I smiled and nodded but thought, a bit annoyed, “Well that’s all there was!”

We decided to get two more buckets and headed back out to the field.

Oh wait, I believe I forgot to mention that it was about 88 degrees and in direct sunlight.

I was cursing the lack of Fall weather in Hawaii at this point.

So we got back to pulling onions when I noticed a portion of the field that looked different than the rest and walked over and just started laughing.

It was rows and rows of large yellow onions. Easy picking.

Oh well.

After filling those buckets it was on to the corn picking.

You will have to forgive the lack of pictures from picking the corn because at this point I was hot, tired and dirty and didn’t want to bother with the camera anymore.

This year they had boxes for the corn which worked out well because you could fit a lot more corn in the boxes than the buckets.

So we bought 4 boxes for $40.

Picking the corn was awful.

I hated going though the rows because they were really close together and I felt like there was something crawling on me all the time.

So we filled our first two boxes (or so we thought) and emerged from the corn and decided that I would sit on the path husking and organizing the corn int the boxes while Stephen picked more.

I quickly learned that after I had husked and organized the corn in the box, we could fit a lot more than we thought.

Each box held a little more than 100 ears of corn.

So for a few hours, I sat, in the dirt, in the direct sunlight, and husked (at least) 400 ears of corn.

But I took it like a man and didn't whine or complain.

Wait, I am not a man.

I am a little girl!

And yes, I whined and complained like one too.

I wasn't built for hard labor (except that which involves my uterus of course).

But it was all worth it considering we got 400 ears of sweet, fresh (obviously), local, organic corn for about 10 cents a piece (usually costs at least a dollar an ear at the store).

We finally drove away, sweaty, dirty, sunburned at 1:30.

Then it was onto the preserving.

In Laws: Day 3

Being that it was Sunday, we pilled into 3 cars and all headed to our church.

After worship, in a moment of silence, Michelle picked up Avila and was walking out of the sanctuary to take her to children's church when we all heard "Bye Emma!"

By "we all", I mean the entire church, it was pretty cute though. She loves her sister.

After church we headed to our house.

It was the first time they had seen our house and the first time anyone had seen our house since we remodeled.

I was a bit of a nervous wreak because I was so excited to show it off but nervous that they should like it.

Well they all loved it, of course.

We spent the afternoon at Ko Olina Resort near our house while the boys went spear fishing (no luck there).

Avila's love for the pool is matched if not exceeded by her love for the beach (I mean, come on, she's named after a beach!)

The following a just a few of a few dozen adorable pictures of her in the sand.







Emma with Grandma Nancy.



I started calling Emma a "bobble head doll" because when I would try to take pictures of her, her head would always be bobbling about.

Michelle, looking awesome (can you believe she had a baby less than three months before this picture!)



The Edwards Family (minus Emma who was taking a nap)



After the beach we headed back to our house for dinner.

Although I love entertaining and cooking, I was a nervous wreak again hoping that everything came out alright.



Well they all loved it, of course.

For dessert, I had made 4 different kinds of sorbet.

Yes, I'll admit, I got a little carried away.

I made mango, papaya, pineapple and watermelon.

In all, it was about 10 quarts of sorbet.

And yes, there is still some in our freezer.

It was good though!

End day 3.

The Wolfepack Brewery

We started brewing our own beer yesterday.

Wait, let me back up a little.

4 years ago Stephen said that he can't understand why anyone would drink an alcoholic beverage and that he would be perfectly happy going through life having never tasted any.

3 years ago Stephen had his first taste of alcohol in the form of wine at age 24.

2 years ago we got a wine fridge and started going to wine tastings regularly.

2 years ago Stephen said that beer was just a means to get drunk and that he can't understand why anyone would drink it.

1 1/2 years ago Stephen had his first taste of a dark beer.

Yesterday, we brewed our own beer.

I made the mistake of telling Stephen about the home brewing shop in Hawaii that I had discovered.

I should have known that the instant he heard of it, he would begin to have grand thoughts of turning our garage into a brewery.

I'm surprised he was able to hold off the 3 weeks from when I told him about it to when we started brewing.

We already had some of the brewing equipment from when we tried making our own root beer (and failed miserably, I might add)

So we began by following this book,



and used an Irish Stout recipe from the home brewing store.

Prep: Put on an inspirational shirt.



Give proper titles (throughout the process we called each other "brew master" and "brew mistress")

Step 1: Boil water.

Step 2: Add barley grains and seep for 30 minutes.





Step 3: Remove barley.



Step 4: Add incredibly thick dark malt extract.

Perhaps the fumes from the brew were making us giddy, but we thought everything was pretty darn funny, including the thickness of the malt.







Step 5: Add hops and cook 60 minutes.



Step 6: Try to keep mixture from overflowing when the hops cause some weird reaction as the brew tries to hop out of the pot.



Fail.



Step 7: Syphon brew into jug.



Step 8: Add yeast.

Fail. We didn't have a funnel so when we poured the yeast in, some of it spilled. I am worried that this may in fact ruin the beer.

We'll see.

Step 9: Stop it up.



Step 10: Let sit in ice bath at 70 degrees for 14 days. (then we start the process to carbonate)



This should be interesting.

Not-So-Special Brownies

This past weekend one of Stephen's classmate from West Point came and stayed with us.

While here, he wanted to get together with another classmate that is stationed here.

So we were all invited to a bonfire he was having with some friends.

I was pretty excited about this because 1. bonfires are awesome, 2. we haven't hung out with people our age since I can't remember when and 3. where there is a bonfire, there are smores.

When we showed up at the bonfire it was pitch black and out in the middle of nowhere (bonfires aren't legal in Hawaii).

There was a group of about 12 or so people there, almost none of them were military.

They were really friendly and nice.

I had no idea how they knew each other but I assumed college or something.

Then one of the girls offered me a brownie.

Now I am going to explain what was going through my mind at this point.

When we first showed up, I could see that a few people were smoking and I couldn't tell what it was, but they weren't cigarettes.

Then the people next to me started smoking a hookah.

Being homeschooled then going to a Christian college, I have never been offered drugs or been around a person doing drugs.

So what I know about drugs comes from tv and movies.

So when I was offered a brownie by super friendly strangers smoking unknown items at a illegal beach bonfire, I assumed the worst and politely said no.

I soon felt very stupid for my assumptions when I found out a few more facts, 1. they were smoking skinny cigars, 2. they knew each other from church, 3. the brownies were store bought.

Oops.

Other than feeling like a dweeb, I had a really fun time.

Unfortunately, I found out the hard way that sitting near a hookah will make you stink to high heaven for days.

And of course being the dweeb that I am, I was sure everyone around me could smell it and it made me feel very self-conscious.

So that is the tale of me and the not-so-special brownies.

In Laws: Day 2

Stephen's sister Michelle, her husband Blair and two kids came in late the night before.

Blair is a big outdoorsy guy and fisher.

He wasn't here 12 hours before he was in the water after some fish.

Stephen picked him up early and they met up with our pastor and went spear fishing.

Stephen had never been spear fishing and learned quickly that objects appear larger in the water.

He said he kept spearing fish thinking he got a good one and then when he got them out of the water he realized they were just piddlers (this is the word Stephen and his dad use for little fish).

They didn't get any keepers.

One of the guys who was fishing with them kept a couple of piddlers saying he might make a fish stick out of them.

After spear fishing, Stephen picked me up and we headed down to the hotel where everyone was staying.

It was great to see our nieces.

We hadn't seen our niece Avila in a year and we had never seen Emma.

It became a joke over the weekend that Emma looked more like our baby than theirs because she's as pale as us.

We spent the whole day at the pool.

Avila loves the pool and everyone else loves lazing around it.



Stephen's talking on the phone to his grandma telling her how he wishes she were here (aww).

Michelle and little Emma (told you she's really our child).



Patti and Emma.



Ok so there are at least two dozen pictures of Avila in the pool but I will try to limit them to only the best to keep from boring you.

Splashing.



After being dunked. (Blair's teaching her to hold her breath)





One happy camper.



Avila wasn't the only one in the pool.



Stephen's dad, chillin.

We ended the day with a tasty dinner at Yardhouse.

In-Laws: Day 1

Alright, so it's been a little over a month since my in-laws visited so it's about time I post about it.

I have finally got some of the pictures edited so I am going to go day by day through the trip and post some of the pictures to go with it.

So Day 1, Friday, Stephen's dad and mom and their significant others were all here.

We decided to take them up to North Shore to wander.

We met them at a midway point so they could follow us to our first destination, the Waialua sugar mill.

When we got to the sugar mill everyone was getting out of the car and I noticed Stephen was still in the car frantically looking around.

I asked, "what are you looking for?"

He replied, "My flip flops!"

uh oh.

Stephen had left them in the parking lot were we met up.

So he and his mom went back and got him while I played tour guide.

In the sugar mill is a cool soap factory.

Not many tourist know about it.

Except the Japanese, because they have a special book.

You see, there are many places on the island that tourist don't know about, but the Japanese, they always know.

We have concluded that they must have a special book of island secrets that talks about these places.

It's kind of strange.

So the soap factory, here is Stephen's dad and Patti out side of it.



I plan to steal that big gear in the background.

I don't know what I would do with it, I just know it is awesome.

Here is the inside of the mill.



I find it sad that there are no more working mills on the island.

The soap.



The stamp they use for the soap.



After the sugar mill, we went to Turtle Bay Resort to wander around, and of course, grab a drink.



Stephen's mom and Patrick with the warrior.



We spent the rest of the day exploring North Shore and ended with dinner at PF Chang's.

Day 2 coming soon.

Bread Making

This week I did something that I have put off for years out of fear of failure.

I was going to make bread.

Now I have made bread before, and from scratch too.

But always in the bread machine.

As a child, I grew up glued to the stool at the counter of our kitchen, watching my mom cook and bake.

Mostly, it was out of hope to get some dough or a batter covered whisk or spatula.

But also out of interest and curiosity.

My most popular recipes have been ones I have learned from my mom.

One of the things that I would beg her to make all the time was her white and cinnamon loaves.

I would watch her mix together the dough and knead it and wait impatiently while it had to rise.

Then when it baked...mmmm...that smell.

It was the best.

As soon at it was out of the oven she would pull out a stick of butter and rub it on the tops of the loaves.

Oh, that beautiful butter melting and glazing the golden crusts, it was so taunting!

Then the intolerable wait for it to get cool enough to slice.

I am sure I drove her crazy with "Is it ready yet?" "Now?" "How much longer?" "Come on!"

There was nothing like that nice warm slice of fresh bread.

Now I have had this recipe for many years but I have always been afraid of it because I know there are so many ways it could go wrong.

Yeast is a tricky thing.

But it came time to face my fears and test my baking skills.

What kind of baker would I be without ever making bread?!

So first the dough.



That went fine.

Then the kneading...for 10 minutes!

Ow.

Forget push ups, pull ups or weights, just make bread and you'll have awesome biceps!

Then let it rise.

Then roll it out and add cinnamon for the cinnamon swirl loaf then back up into a nice loaf.



Then let rise a second time and then bake.



WARNING: Following images may cause drooling.









Ok so the cinnamon swirl isn't perfect, got a few air pockets but it will still make awesome french toast!

So fear overcome, I made bread, and it is delicious.

The end.

Crazy Animal People

In our family room I wanted to put 4 pictures on the wall.

Stephen disagreed with me on the subject of these pictures.

I wanted to do a picture of each pet.

He said it would make us look like those crazy animal people.

My rebuttal was this,

"One, we are crazy animal people.

Two, it would only look like that if the pictures were of them dressed up in outfits.

Three, they are going to be black and white and look artistic.

And four, we are crazy animal people!"

I won.

So I worked hard to try and get a really great picture of each of the pets.

I wanted to capture their personalities in the picture.

Pet pictures are hard to do.

As soon as you start paying attention to the pet, they stop what they are doing and come running over to you.

This leads to a lot of blurry photos.

Giselle was easy. I caught her sleeping on the bottom of the bookshelf.

She is very photogenic.

We always joke that she is a piece of decor because she is always curled up perfectly somewhere, looking pretty.



I got Willow next.

This was a fun photo because I was able to catch her in her goofiness.

This is also very much like her being that she is a big couch potato.



And yes, she really does sleep like that.

I knew it would be hard to get Bagheera since he is outside all the time.

Luckily, I caught him in a rare moment of hanging out on our bed.

Bagheera is the name of the panther in Jungle Book.

And he is quite a jungle cat.

This picture gets that (probably because Giselle came in the room and he was about to pounce on her).




This next picture was a close 2nd that showed another side of Bagheera.

Bagheera is a ladies man and his theme song should really be "I'm too sexy (for my collar)"

He always walks around like he's "all that".

Look at that face!



Now Lilo is the hardest.

She doesn't hold still and she is always getting her muzzle all dirty.

I haven't gotten her picture yet but I used one from a while ago that I don't love, but it works for now.



So this is how it turned out.



What do you think?

Are we crazy animal people?